Deadbeat People: Selfish vs Selfless
When you hear the word deadbeat, you associate it with a deadbeat mother or father but others can be deadbeats as well!
A while back I wrote about the “other” side of the family. The family members our kids don’t really have a relationship with due to many different factors.
One factor we don’t spend enough time talking about is having deadbeat friends or family members in our circles. Those that might not take care of their kids but also those that don’t know how to nurture a family relationship.
We all have family members that we simply don’t vibe with as well as the rest.
We might try to connect with them but for some reason, it just never works. Sometimes it even feels like they don’t want any part of you and your family. That shit sucks but it happens. Those are what we consider deadbeat family members.
Those are the people we try hard to include in our children’s lives but they suck so bad that it becomes a never-ending battle. We know who they are and what they are about but yet we try to include them for our kids’ sake.
Dealing with deadbeat family members is hard, but what about dealing with a deadbeat friend?
Coming from where I come from, there aren’t too many fathers handling their business as fathers. What are we supposed to do with those friends?
Do we toss them to the side because they don’t take care of their kids or do we run the risk of losing their friendship because we tell them about themselves?
Ohh, that right there is a tough one. Many men will say they would ditch them, I’m going to say that’s the easy solution but also not the most feasible one at times.
Relationships are built over years, can you destroy that overnight and feel good about it? I know I can but it’s not easy and can’t blame you if you can’t.
This week, I asked my friend Mike Dorsey how he handles deadbeat friends and even family members!
As we started to chat about it for our “We Do It For Our Kids” series, we realized that it was a battle between being selfish and selfless!
As fathers that care and try to be there for our kids, we realized that we are participating in a lifelong journey of being SELFLESS!
Meaning that we will give up our left nut for our child if we had to! Yeah, it’s graphic but tell me I’m lying!
That act of being SELFLESS is what makes us SPECIAL!
On the flip side, what makes deadbeat family members and friends what they are, you choose the word that fits, is the fact that they are SELFISH!
Selfish people suck and this week Mike and I used our personal experiences to talk all about it. Some friends, heck some family members might hate us after this but if we cant keep it real with ourselves, who will?
Got a topic for us or simply have a way for us to add even more VALUE to you? Hit us up!
Looking For More?
- No Health, No Dad: We Do It For Our Kids
- Kicks & Your Kids, The Sole Connection with Kian Miller
- Teaching your kids how to handle a gun
- Child Support: We Do It For Our Kids
- Learning from Social Working with Bas Moreno
- Traditions: It’s who you do it with that matters
- We do it for our kids! Black Fathers Now & #FatherhoodIsLit
- Got Sole: Attending A Trade Show With Your Kids
- Actions over resolutions, the dad way!
- Self-care: Who’s There For You