25 Apr

The other side of the family, we all have them

We all have family members we don’t really know or have met, we call them the other side of the family. Sometimes we only know they exist because we heard our parents or close family members speak about them.

As I raise my own kids now, I think about the other side of the family often and at times, I even ask myself if my kids should even know them.

Only time will tell if my kids will meet the other side, here are a few reasons why the other side even exists.

Family beef that no one can get over

#FatherhoodIsLit Other Side Of The Family, Distant Family

Worn Out Beefs Are The Worst

I have family members in Florida that I haven’t seen in decades due to an argument between my dad and uncle. It all started with a death of a family member. It drove my dad and uncle away from each other and they haven’t even tried to fix it.

Chances are that if they spoke now, they would probably get over it, but you know, that man pride is serious. They won’t even acknowledge each other.

My dad still blames his brother and I’m 1000% sure my uncle still blames my dad. I blame them both for not being manly enough to sit down and kill the beef.

Like many family members, they can’t get over it and now the family has to pay for it. We might never get to know each other over a beef that happened over 30 years ago. We all lose because they can’t get over it, isn’t that crazy?

Some family members need to be kept away

#FatherhoodIsLit Other Side Of The Family, Distant Family

We all have that one family member that no one wants to be near for whatever reason. My dad always kept me away from some of my mother’s side of the family and as I got older I started to understand why.

Some of them were into things that he didn’t want me involved in. It ranged from drug abuse to even other criminal activities. He didn’t want me falling victim to the streets and made sure to keep me away from people that he felt could lead me that way.

That killed my relationship with some of the good members of the other side of the family simply due to the association. But I can’t really blame my dad.

He did what he had to do to make sure I didn’t think their lifestyle was cool. To be honest, I would do the same thing with my kids if I felt I had to.

Sometimes they are the other side of the family for a really damn good reason.

We know them but they are not a priority

#FatherhoodIsLit Other Side Of The Family, Distant Family

Close family over everything

They say blood is thicker than water and I say blood is thicker than water until distance and life get in the mix.

I want my kids to meet everyone that is part of my family or at least it sounds pretty good to say that but it’s not a reality. Raising your own family takes over and becomes a priority along with so many other things.

We all know the other side of the family exists but they never become the priority. I for one always say, “one day we will see them and hang out,” but also know that day may never come.

It takes an effort to meet the other side of the family and this thing called life sometimes takes up all of our efforts. Tomorrow isn’t promised but neither is meeting everyone from the other side.

Out of sight out of mind

#FatherhoodIsLit Other Side Of The Family, Distant Family

This one sucks the most in my opinion but it’s a reality. When you are not raised with the other side of the family or barely see them, you start to forget they exist. I see this happen all the time with my own family, especially as it is growing.

My wife’s side of the family is huge on traditions and get-togethers. This is so dope but some members don’t put in the effort to make it.

Since they never come to our family events we start to forget about them. There’s no beef, no real reason to keep them away from our kids. But simply not being there messes everything up!

The less we see the other side, the quicker we forget about them period.

They might stay the other side forever and it sucks

Every time I go to Puerto Rico, I meet some random distant family member. Sound familiar?

My parents will sit there happy as hell to finally reconnect with them, while I just sit there. I would be lying if I said we stayed in contact after that.

Even though they are blood, I have no interest in getting to know them. We are just not going to bond that way and it’s ok.

There are times when the other side of the family might just stay the other side forever.

Cheers to the other side, I might not know all of you, but I salute you anyway. Have a blessed life and remember #PresenceOverPresents.

What do you tell your kids about the other side of the family? 

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