Real Talk Dealing With Bullying, A Real Dad’s POV
I hate bullies with a passion and like most dads, one of my biggest fears is finding out my kids are being bullied.
I’m afraid that someone will break my child via bullying and I am also afraid that I myself will have to hurt someone for bullying my child.
#RealDads protect their kids by any means necessary and that can be scary at times.
Bullying is here to stay though, especially with the way it is being done online. There’s no right way to deal with a bully, here what I tell my kids about it!
Real Talks About Bullying Are A Must
It is up to us to talk about the harsh reality of being bullied. How it affects the person being bullied but also why someone might bully another person! We have to make it real by talking about both sides of it.
Simply saying don’t be a bully isn’t enough. Talk about the real things that can happen to a bully or someone being bullied. Talk to them about suicides, talk to them about being arrested, anything that you feel is important is up for discussion.
Keep it real with them and don’t be afraid to ask your kids if someone is messing with them or if they are messing with others. They might be embarrassed and might never tell you.
Talk to them, pull from them, learn from them.
It’s Not Snitching Tell An Adult.
Where I m from, telling on each other is considered snitching and bad! There are many dads out there that grew up with this same notion especially when it comes to being picked on.
We were taught to fight, not run.
I give my child permission to run off and tell an adult! People could call us soft, punks, snitches, whatever! It doesn’t matter to me as long as my kids are safe.
It is way easier to have an adult step in when there is bullying around, and you don’t want your child getting in trouble for someone else’s aggression. Always have them let an adult know to cover all of their bases and because they shouldn’t have to deal with bullying by themselves anyway.
Win win for everyone involved.
Cant Walk Away, Now You Become Aggressive
They say violence is never the answer and honestly I disagree big time!
I had to defend myself often being raised in the South Bronx of New York City. I had no choice!
There were times when I couldn’t run to an adult or mom and dad. I was stuck with having to handle the situation and my dad always taught me to handle my business!
Unfortunately, violence sometimes is the answer. I tell my kids all the time, “if you can’t get away or even after telling someone the problem still continues, smack the offender.” Point blank, they have my full permission to defend themselves when needed!
I’ll deal with the parents, the school board, police officers, whoever, before I have to deal with the morgue. Yup, it can get that serious, and I will do anything to stop it.
What If My Kid Is The Bully
I haven’t had to deal with this yet, but you know that no child is a perfect angel!
If it happens, all I feel I could do is talk to them. Having a real discussion with your kids can go a long way and I’m down for that.
Scolding or whipping your child because they bullied someone isn’t the answer in my opinion. This is where a dad can really sit down and figure out why his child is acting up. Why did they do what they did and what can we as dads do to change that action?
You can’t fix an issue you don’t know your kids are having, make it your duty to have regular discussions about bullying. You never know, they might bully a child without even knowing that they are doing it. Talk about it!
Then do what dads do best, learn and support your child’s growth.
There are way too many kids out there getting bullied and taking their lives due to it. It sucks big time and no child should have to deal with this nonsense.
It is up to us as dads to have real discussions about both sides of bullying. We have to work on our kids coping mechanisms and teach them when to talk to an adult about it. We also have to teach them when to use physical force to defend themselves because they might not always have the chance to run away.
Talking about it with an adult is not snitching and kids should not fear seeking help when needed. The same way we talk to our kids about our favorite things is the same way we should talk about bullying.
Keep it real with them, you should have this a conversation often and it can go a long way!
What do you tell your kids about bullying and surviving it? Would love to know how you handle it, let’s learn together.
Looking For More?
- No Health, No Dad: We Do It For Our Kids
- Kicks & Your Kids, The Sole Connection with Kian Miller
- Deadbeat People: Selfish vs Selfless
- Teaching your kids how to handle a gun
- Child Support: We Do It For Our Kids
- Learning from Social Working with Bas Moreno
- Traditions: It’s who you do it with that matters
- We do it for our kids! Black Fathers Now & #FatherhoodIsLit
- Got Sole: Attending A Trade Show With Your Kids
- Actions over resolutions, the dad way!